One of my short stories

More than a Thousand Miles from Home

“There is a wave of stupidity that crosses the regions in the tropics” he explained,

as he drew an invisible line in the air that demarcated the north temperate zones from the

tropics. His cheeks that usually looked bulbous, now had a flat appearance as he

enlightened the listeners on the backwardness of Africa, most especially Nigeria. “All

third world countries have the same brand of stupidity” he said with a grin on his face.

Josephine, whose new pride was being married to him, could not agree more. She placed

her arms that had the color of white chocolate over his shoulders, and for a moment, she

thanked Jesus that her white mother had insisted on leaving Jamaica. The thought of her

walking the streets of Kingston, because of her father’s love for his home gave her mixed

feelings. These mixed feelings bordered between victory in living the west and

amusement of what she would have turned out to be if she lived in Jamaica. She

loved his ebullience that sparked as he spoke of his homeland, Nigeria. He smiled as

Josephine winked at him. He knew what she was thinking in her head. He was convinced

that her adoration for him resonated in her head like a John Legend song. And that gave

him more drive to speak on, as he waved his arms and described to the listeners who were

all Canadian, of the corruptness of his people. He also did not forget to mention the

several cultures that were just evidence of his people’s foolishness.

The Canadians had enjoyed his rant. And one of them had remarked how

theatrical he looked, as he gestured and raised his voice. They were surprised to see him

speak so loudly and unrestrained. The Canadians had never seen so much passion in him,

except when he spoke about the new projects that had potentials for huge profit. May ,

the only female among the Canadians giggled flirtatiously as she commented on how he

spoke badly of his homeland. While, the males laughed loudly as they stood under a tent

peeking at him, the Nigerian and Josephine. May laughed harder almost spilling the

Alexander Keith’s beer on her denim pants, as she remarked on his trying to separate

himself from the stupidity he claimed his people had. One of the males, who was drunk

and had temporarily lost the Canadian politeness, stated that Africans were undoubtedly

primitive but the Nigerian man did not need to state to obvious to them. Their hysterical

laughter slowly dimmed as they all agreed to themselves that what the Nigerian man had

said only proved that guilty notion they had of Africa.

Soon he and Josephine walked up to the Canadians who were about to leave the

artificial palm-leaved tent that stood mismatched in between two tall buildings. He

looked up at the fourth floor of the building, with his eyes focused on the room where his

office was located. A smile was stamped on his face as he spoke to the Canadians.

“The sculpture is beautiful, and what remarkable detail it has” May said, trying to

conceal the guilt she felt on mocking the Nigerian and his homeland. He looked up to the

sculpture that was hung on the wall to give the tent a wild and more African look. He then

smiled briefly at May and turned again to see the sculpture ,which was a replica of a Yoruba

bronze head. The hollow eyes and metallic luster of the bronze head reminded him of his history
classes back in Nigeria. A black framed picture of him sitting in a class and listening to a

lecture on the lost wax-casting process, formed in his head. He could remember his

teacher describe this technique of creating bronze sculptures from wax, brass and clay.

These sculptures that were intricate in their structure and creation techniques that date back to

the 6th and 12th century had intrigued his teenage and impressionable mind. Slowly, the black

framed picture faded in his head. He turned away from the bronze sculpture and continued his

conversation with his Canadian friends.

Revamping....

I'm now a free man!!!! Free from school work atleast for the next three weeks. I'm staring at my blog that is like an abandoned child, whose mother or should I say father stares at him every day, but doesn't feed it. As a result, I've decided to save my dying blog from starvation. Christmas is already here, and money has started flying out of people's pockets (mine included). Chai!! I just got this i pod touch, which is the most aesthetically pleasing i pod, I've seen. Still, as I stare into this black coloured device that is not more than an inch thick, I fight myself from asking if it is really worth it. Well, I am not going to answer that question to my self. But I will prove to myself in every way possible that the fact that my device has touch screen tech, Internet (wi-fi), 8GB space, and even calculator, makes it worth the price. Even if this task of convincing myself that my new i pod touch is worth it, just shows the extent of how affected I am by popular culture. No doubt, I'm loving the i pod and how sleek it is, but still there's that part of me that knows that the underlying drive for me to suddenly change my mind from buying the "every day" i pod is my "Long throat" and my yearning to be impressive to others. I am not going to put all the blame of this covetous attitude on the Nigerian youth culture of celebrating what is "fly" "tight" "tush" and all those crap talk that glorifies excessiveness and materialism. Still, as I try to understand all that is me, and know if I am a person that is simple or "oloju kokoroed". Maybe, I border simplicity and Oloju kokoro (greed). Anyway, I'm also dying for an i phone too. I guess that makes me fit into the latter side of the border.

YAHOOZEE

The long awaited yahoozee video. This song is just a feel good song that makes u feel like u're worth a million bucks. The video's okay, still ama sere, jaiye,..eh yahoozee lol. Guys leave ur comments

OJUJU IS COMING

Last week I got into a heated(boiling) argument with my naija friend in the midst of my other roomies(Canadians). At first the topic was religion and everyone was talking about the bible. Claims were made on how parts of the bible are discriminatory against women. The ever popular issue of the bible not being complete and having books( eg Judas version, incomplete chapters from the book of peters etc). Then, the discussion shifted to other religions and Islam, Christianity's nemesis (you can beg to differ with this) was mentioned. Y'all know there's a lot of BS to be said about Islam. Suddenly, my naija broda claims authoritatively that Christianity is not a religion. I hear some people saying an amen to that. That's alright, we all have our personal opinions. Still, I'm going to break this down in my own way. We're(roomies and I) are all seated down talking about various religions; Buddhism, Islam, Taoism and BAM!!!Christianity should not be put side by side with these others. This claim that Christianity is not a religion implies that it is superior and in another level from other ways of worshiping and communicating to God.

If there's one thing never to do, never argue about religion, In fact I'm never doing it again. Regardless, some Nigerians tend to believe that Christianity is on another level from other world religions. We have this view that other religions are "heathen" and ours is the only true religion. This belief might have originated from the brain washing of the colonial days. While growing up as a kid, I had the belief that my native Nigerian religions were of the devil, thanks to the manner in which they were portrayed. As children we got scared by the names of native Nigerian gods. For reasons that bordered ignorance and intolerance, we believe that those who practise their native religions were devil worshippers. Some people might argue that if you're a true Christian, you should believe that Jesus is the only and true way of communicating to God. Well, the Muslims think the same way of Mohamed. Most "born again" Christians would ask you to choose if other religions( African traditional religions is right or wrong). Well, I do not have any right to judge if the wooden image, or Deity, worship is wrong or right. I can only see it as being a different way of worship.

Porn Palaver II

I was surprised to visit Linda Ikeji's blog and find the pics of a naked grown man and woman. The pictures show two individuals who were starked naked and humiliated by a mob on the streets. And the crime is adultery. Like wtf, so what if they commited adultery, it's none of the crowd's or anyone outside her family and friends' business. Again, adultery is a moral issue not a crime that should be punished by such jungle justice. Visit Linda Ikeji's blog for a more comprehensive post on this issue.

Don't Tase Me..

Police Brutality (not really) at its funniest.

Fimisile- leave me alone....yay..I can speak yoruba

Sorry to all of you guys, who have been visiting my blog, but don't find any new updates. I've been busy and lazy (do these two go together). Well, you get the idea, there's school work and every time I'm free, I get lazy to blog. Anyway, how y'all doing this fall. Life's going good (thank God) for me. I'm more relaxed now, even if my mind can't escape the fact that my dad is travelling via a Nigerian airline. Even if it's virgin or aero, which I hope, I still don't feel comfortable with Nigerian airlines. Honestly, I try to convince people that aviation in Nigeria is not as bad as we see on tv. I mean how many air line crashes or accidents, do we hear of. Still, it's the fear that even when these unforeseen accidents happen, there are usually not good enough rescue services. Also, we hardly hear of the causes of this crashes. So, how can we solve a life threatening problem, if we do not know the causes. Still, I give a short prayer, believing that all will be well.

My classes have been just there. I feel bored in most of them, owing to the fact that it's like I'm learning stuff, I've heard before. Still. I know it's going be better, when we get deeper into the courses.
I'm presently listening to Sunny Neji's Prisoner of love. And, love songs definitely sound differently to me these days. I now understand what Ne yo meant when he said he was sick of love songs. Love, love, love, so many people(which I belong to) really use that word inappropriately. Is it just a physical attraction to someone? or just a deep connection to someone. Unarguably, infatuation can be mistaken for love. They're like cousins. Anyway, have to go now, my roomate just brought this crazy and hallucinatory alcohol drink ever (that didn't sound right. Right?). I'm not drinking though (there's a shot of irony in this sentence). Peace people!!!!!!