The Tufiakwa Syndrome.

When this word 'tufiakwa' is uttered, it is usually accompanied with sighs, tightly folded arms, heavy breathing, an almost violent jerk of the neck and shoulders and there could also be the intense snapping sounds of fingers, depending on the severity of the anomaly. The faces of the observers, accusers, critics, analysts, judges, Gbegoruns, Amebos always seem to be in some trance that levitates and traps their bodies in the bubble of the offender's iniquity or the wonder at how anyone at that, would give in to such debasement. Regardless of their positions in the country's socio-cultural, economic and educational strata, that trance-like look on their faces always shares striking similarities. And these shared similarities transcend widened eyes, opened mouths, pursed and pushed out lips that mimic a duck's beak and the consequent sucking sounds that follow, to one of a heated-ness that has the effect of sobering the offender to a state where he does not feel guilt for the crime that has been committed, but for a graver and more sinister one, that he fails to grasp, but his accusers, the Tufiakwa spitters, fully understand.

Though, the word has it's many equivalents-God forbid, Olorun ma je, Abasi Mbo, Jesus is Lord, Wonders shall never end and the very un-razz and still dismissive 'that's just sick'-that have become even more popular than it, it still retains its strength in its condemnation of anything that non-conforming to standards, that have come to be accepted and placed on a high pedestal. A pedestal that people in society strive to reach, even if they have to resort to hypocritical acts.

Having given background information-which might be meaningless info.-on the Nigerian word 'Tufiakwa', I proceed to the main point of this post, which tries to delve into the Nigerian People and our reaction to non-conformity. I will not try to fill this post with the obvious of how the Nigerian society is a conforming one,that sometimes inhibits individuality, but I will ask questions, that hopefully do not end up sounding too rhetorical.

I have always being perplexed, back in Nigeria, with how everyone seemed to be chasing the same things all in the bid to reach some acceptable level or attain success in society-success that seemed so uni-dimensional. To my young mind, it was surprising that diversity in the way people thought and approached life was almost non-existent. I still find myself asking if it is our sense of community or the ease with which we form tribal and gender-specific camaraderie, that makes us feel that we have to live our lives conforming to community or having to meet up to societal expectations of success. And when people do fail to meet up, they become topic of our side talk, something for us to look at with condemning awe. It is remarkable how Nigerian communities even in different parts of the world continue to live by or even create rules, values and moral obligations that sometimes streamlines them. And this communal action of creating sets of values also take form in young people setting up these expectations around themselves that they must meet in order to gain some kind of respect. Is it not alarming the motivations-Plasma screen, Lamborgini, house in South of France-young Nigerians have when choosing careers or the things they want to do? We also have the religious sort, that would even live by doctrines extreme than those in their holy books. Hence, they have to and expect others to conform to these set of values that sometimes remain unreformed. And it is not hard to find scenes of Nigerians reflexively changing who they are, when they get into their community. It is even deemed reasonable that one compromise oneself, in order to fit into community, society at large and consequently reaching that high pedestal.

Sometimes I feel that individuality and nationalism are so opposing, and can be likened to oil and water. There is that feeling that it is impossible for one to represent society, without compromising self. Does it mean that if one is to lead life, knowing that one is but responsible for oneself, and still carry out the selfless task of representing ones society, people or history? Can one truly define ones core identity without referring to one's nation (especially if it does not fully support ones dreams)?
In contrast, there is that part of me that believes that one can still be as individualistic as one chooses, without compromising oneself in representing one's background. There is that part that feels that referring to nation, background and history, when trying to define oneself does not tamper in any way with individuality. So what is stopping me from being nationalistic, without compromising myself? Maybe I have a problem with the way my country reacts to non-conformity, because my self, my core seems so out of place in the scheme of things. Sometimes, I feel that if life in Nigeria was to be likened to a novel, people, that I love and claim to love me, would become antagonistic to me, not for some intrinsic vileness in them, but for the reason that my core contradicts their beliefs and convictions. Yes, this might be the reason why I find the need to use the colloquial "Tufiakwa" to allude to our reaction to anything different, the reason why I feel torn between being the 'true Nigerian' or being my true self. Finally, I've come to reconcile all this, knowing that if I'm to lead a life not filled with mediocrity and compromise, I'll have to disappoint and confuse some people-and maybe live outside the shores of Nigeria.

One of my short stories

More than a Thousand Miles from Home

“There is a wave of stupidity that crosses the regions in the tropics” he explained,

as he drew an invisible line in the air that demarcated the north temperate zones from the

tropics. His cheeks that usually looked bulbous, now had a flat appearance as he

enlightened the listeners on the backwardness of Africa, most especially Nigeria. “All

third world countries have the same brand of stupidity” he said with a grin on his face.

Josephine, whose new pride was being married to him, could not agree more. She placed

her arms that had the color of white chocolate over his shoulders, and for a moment, she

thanked Jesus that her white mother had insisted on leaving Jamaica. The thought of her

walking the streets of Kingston, because of her father’s love for his home gave her mixed

feelings. These mixed feelings bordered between victory in living the west and

amusement of what she would have turned out to be if she lived in Jamaica. She

loved his ebullience that sparked as he spoke of his homeland, Nigeria. He smiled as

Josephine winked at him. He knew what she was thinking in her head. He was convinced

that her adoration for him resonated in her head like a John Legend song. And that gave

him more drive to speak on, as he waved his arms and described to the listeners who were

all Canadian, of the corruptness of his people. He also did not forget to mention the

several cultures that were just evidence of his people’s foolishness.

The Canadians had enjoyed his rant. And one of them had remarked how

theatrical he looked, as he gestured and raised his voice. They were surprised to see him

speak so loudly and unrestrained. The Canadians had never seen so much passion in him,

except when he spoke about the new projects that had potentials for huge profit. May ,

the only female among the Canadians giggled flirtatiously as she commented on how he

spoke badly of his homeland. While, the males laughed loudly as they stood under a tent

peeking at him, the Nigerian and Josephine. May laughed harder almost spilling the

Alexander Keith’s beer on her denim pants, as she remarked on his trying to separate

himself from the stupidity he claimed his people had. One of the males, who was drunk

and had temporarily lost the Canadian politeness, stated that Africans were undoubtedly

primitive but the Nigerian man did not need to state to obvious to them. Their hysterical

laughter slowly dimmed as they all agreed to themselves that what the Nigerian man had

said only proved that guilty notion they had of Africa.

Soon he and Josephine walked up to the Canadians who were about to leave the

artificial palm-leaved tent that stood mismatched in between two tall buildings. He

looked up at the fourth floor of the building, with his eyes focused on the room where his

office was located. A smile was stamped on his face as he spoke to the Canadians.

“The sculpture is beautiful, and what remarkable detail it has” May said, trying to

conceal the guilt she felt on mocking the Nigerian and his homeland. He looked up to the

sculpture that was hung on the wall to give the tent a wild and more African look. He then

smiled briefly at May and turned again to see the sculpture ,which was a replica of a Yoruba

bronze head. The hollow eyes and metallic luster of the bronze head reminded him of his history
classes back in Nigeria. A black framed picture of him sitting in a class and listening to a

lecture on the lost wax-casting process, formed in his head. He could remember his

teacher describe this technique of creating bronze sculptures from wax, brass and clay.

These sculptures that were intricate in their structure and creation techniques that date back to

the 6th and 12th century had intrigued his teenage and impressionable mind. Slowly, the black

framed picture faded in his head. He turned away from the bronze sculpture and continued his

conversation with his Canadian friends.

OJUJU IS COMING

Last week I got into a heated(boiling) argument with my naija friend in the midst of my other roomies(Canadians). At first the topic was religion and everyone was talking about the bible. Claims were made on how parts of the bible are discriminatory against women. The ever popular issue of the bible not being complete and having books( eg Judas version, incomplete chapters from the book of peters etc). Then, the discussion shifted to other religions and Islam, Christianity's nemesis (you can beg to differ with this) was mentioned. Y'all know there's a lot of BS to be said about Islam. Suddenly, my naija broda claims authoritatively that Christianity is not a religion. I hear some people saying an amen to that. That's alright, we all have our personal opinions. Still, I'm going to break this down in my own way. We're(roomies and I) are all seated down talking about various religions; Buddhism, Islam, Taoism and BAM!!!Christianity should not be put side by side with these others. This claim that Christianity is not a religion implies that it is superior and in another level from other ways of worshiping and communicating to God.

If there's one thing never to do, never argue about religion, In fact I'm never doing it again. Regardless, some Nigerians tend to believe that Christianity is on another level from other world religions. We have this view that other religions are "heathen" and ours is the only true religion. This belief might have originated from the brain washing of the colonial days. While growing up as a kid, I had the belief that my native Nigerian religions were of the devil, thanks to the manner in which they were portrayed. As children we got scared by the names of native Nigerian gods. For reasons that bordered ignorance and intolerance, we believe that those who practise their native religions were devil worshippers. Some people might argue that if you're a true Christian, you should believe that Jesus is the only and true way of communicating to God. Well, the Muslims think the same way of Mohamed. Most "born again" Christians would ask you to choose if other religions( African traditional religions is right or wrong). Well, I do not have any right to judge if the wooden image, or Deity, worship is wrong or right. I can only see it as being a different way of worship.

Sneak Preview

I never thought I'll be sharing my personal life to other bloggers. But, I am kind off becoming more comfortable to share things happening to me. I'm sitting in my little office(first job) and surprisingly jobless. But that doesn't matter, as long as I get paid my $7.50 per hour. The muscles in my arms are in excruciating pain. I guess this is what I get for trying to attain a fit physique. If you know me, I might be the skiniest person you've ever met in your life that eats 4 times a day. To worsen matters, I consume processed food and typical western fat-filled diets. Yet, I am still this scrunny dude. I am now on a quest to gain weight and mass. I spent $20 just for a small sized protein shake and increased the amount of money I spend on groceries. Those things taste good anyway. And for the first time in my life, I did 20 "real" sit ups. The muscles in my arms and arm pit are aching. The problem is that I haven't even started yet. I have to go to the gym tonight. Just can't imagine the pain I'm going to face. Anyway. it's all good, afterall, no pain no gain. I'm just doing this to get a new image for the next semester. So all these white chicks will know the big stereotype black guy just stepped in. At least, I don't have to give the impression that I'm like this, because, I come from malnourished Nigeria.

These eyes sure do say alot!!

Yeah, your eyes are certainly not decieving you. That is the view of Port harcourt from one of these creepy satellites( Thanks to google earth). I was so excited to spot my house. It brought back so many memories of my life in Nigeria. Looking at this picture, made me giggle. The contrast between the shell staff residential area and the surroundings is extremely obvious. While, the former looks like a very leafy surburb, the latter comprises of buildings arranged in a very disoderly manner(entropy..lol). Though, I do not stay in the "surburb", I am very familiar with the place, as I have access to it. However, my house is very close to it. It was also amazing to note the dark red and rusty zinc cielings that paraded most of ph, and the very few light blue, pink, green,ash, and white cielings. Definitely, we all know the difference in the classes of people that stay in these areas. This reminds me of what I saw on the news about Nigerian. It claims that most of the wealth of the nation lies in 10 percent of its population. Evidently, this picture states that. Somehow, I agree with the claim, but i'll be satisfied it were raised to 20 %.

A world apart

I just saw the movie "Blood diamond". A very good and educative movie. Also, Leonardo di Carprio did an excellent job. Not forgetting, Djimmon Hounsou who exuded every form of emotion. This movie which is filled with many thought provoking lines and dialogue, is an eye opener to the condition of Africa. The selfish demand for diamonds in the western world and even some parts of Africa has caused so muh anguish. This illegal trade has intensified wars in Liberia, Sierra Leone and so on. Thank God! we do not have diamonds in Nigeria. We cannot go on to blam e the west. Although, the consumerism lifestyle of the western world has lead to the deprivation of the rest of the world. I am also guilty of this. I am fortunate to be from a priviledged background, where I have access to basic amenities. I am currently schooling in Canada. Sometimes, I get a sense of guilt consuming so much here. The thought of those who do not have enough in Nigeria and the rest of Africa aches my heart. This all boils down to the fact that Africa is indeed separated from the world's wealth. The lifestyles of people are so different, that Africa is a world apart. Here, people have choices in their meals and every aspect of life you can think of. But, in most parts of Africa there is little or none to choose from. Certainly, I have no right to complain. I have everything I need and most of what I want. So do most people who read this. Sometimes, I wonder what I can do to make a change. "Education". Who gets the education?. Most international students who come over here intend to get educated and stay here permanently. The fact is that they have already labeled their countries as doomed. But if those who can effect change all run, who will help. The west certainly will never help, when they gain so much from the present state. Africa has to literally join the world, and enjoy the earth's wealth. Africa should be able to enjoy its resources. A change should happen, starting from me and you